Sunday, May 31, 2020

Day 37: Single

This post brought to you by an exceptionally dreary last day of May.

In theory, I should be doing something besides blogging. But after putting in 6+ hours of work yesterday, I really don’t feel like jumping back into it yet.. so I’m gonna wait.

As I sit in the silence looking out my window, I can’t help but think that today would be a glorious day to curl up beside another human and read a book or watch a movie.

The catch?
I don’t have another human.
9.8/10 days, or approximately 358/365 days of the year, I’m perfectly fine with that.

Today though, it’d be nice to have someone.

A couple years back, I told myself that if I wasn’t married or in a serious relationship by 27 that I was going to ditch dating and resign myself to a perpetual life of singleness.

In all reality, I didn’t make it to 27.

Dating has never really been my strong suit.
I’m not all that social, and I find it rather pointless to spend time getting to know someone who will have no lasting presence in my life.  (It sounds harsh, but it’s true.)
In addition, I find the formality of getting to know people (aka the smalltalk of life that apparently must occur before having genuine conversations) exhausting.
Not to mention the pressure to appear social... because sitting in silence on a first date is frowned upon.

Which consequently meant that I was over most dates before they began.
Unfair? Maybe.  But true nonetheless.
Why both attempting to date if that was my mentality?  Because some days, my impulsivity and belief in the necessity of companionship overrode my frustration with the miserable state of online dating.

However, this past January (or February?), I decided enough was enough and threw in the towel on dating.

If I’m honest, I really haven’t regretted it at all.  While some days are quiet, and life can have its lonely moments, there is a freedom in the solitude of singleness, a joy in the serenity of silence, and a peace in the ceasing of searching.

And so I will sit.

‘Til tomorrow,

-Hannah

Song of the Day: Raise a Hallelujah
Question of the Day: What do you do on rainy days?
Challenge of the Day: Do something that needs done, even if you don’t feel like it
Photo of the Day: (From before the rain came in...)

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